If only I were an octopus...

"If only I were an octopus."

This thought seems to be crossing my mind quite frequently these days. It seems on a regular basis, everyone and everything needs my attention at the same time. The latest example was tonight while cooking dinner. I had just gotten off the phone with my dad, the ham and cheese rolls I had put in the oven were just about done and I needed to get the green beans prepped and cooked so Rebecca and I could sit down to eat. Right about the time I was finishing the prepping of the green beans and was starting to cook them, Rebecca has a melt down and wants to be held. Her melt down triggers a meltdown from Haley who now also wants to be held (she was previously content in her bassinet watching me work). The rolls are done, the green beans are cooking, I'm trying to finish getting the remaining ingredients and quickly finish the cooking so we can sit down to eat (as it is already much later than I had intended for us to eat), Rebecca is under my feet crying, begging for me to pick her up, Haley is in the bassinet crying, and I'm wishing I had about 4 more hands to deal with everything. Yikes! I eventually got the cooking completed and was able to sit down and get everyone calmed again and the food served.

It's times like that I really do wish I had 8 arms to help me deal with it all (as I'm sure most moms feel at times, especially those with multiple kids). It's also times like these when I especially miss having Michael's help. To find the silver lining though, these are the times that are the most revealing of so many things. It reminds me of how blessed I am to have Michael. It also reminds me (once I'm able to sit down and actually think) of how capable I can be. While those moments are far from enjoyable, in the end I was able to handle it and everyone turned out happy and content, even if it took a little longer than we all would have liked.

"Capable." That's not a word I have often associated with myself. I've often seen myself as weak and incapable of most things. I usually rely heavily on others to take care of the things I saw as being difficult (no chance to fail if someone else deals with it). This deployment is already stretching me and causing me to grow in this area though. I have surprised myself on more than one occasion already, with my ability to handle situations, problem solve, and keep us all going. I've even tapped into my handyman abilities and fixed the garbage disposal (which broke within the first week of Michael's departure) and a leaking toilet, both of which I would have just left to Michael to deal with had he been here (because I'm just not a repair person and he is an engineer after all-at least that's the excuse I would have given myself).

While I will never actually be an octopus with 8 arms to help me juggle my 2 beautiful girls, the house, errands, chores, etc., I can remind myself that I am capable and that I can handle whatever situation is thrown my way. All I have to do is take a deep breath, say a little prayer and take it one step at a time.