Ouch! I think I'm growing

We have gotten through the first month of my husband's official deployment. During this time we have had household appliances break, some financial surprises (some good, some not so good), some of the worst sickness my child has ever experienced while my other child and myself were also (to a much lesser degree) sick, extended family concerns, lost dog, found dog... It has seemed as if we get through one crisis only to enter into another one. Maybe the word crisis is a bit strong in reality, but emotionally it seems about right.

This has, by far, been the most difficult deployment we have ever been through in terms of things going wrong at home. If I were to meet Mr. Murphy on the street one day, I'd be prepared to share a few words with him about his little law. But then again, this is (surprisingly) one of the positives about deployments. As painful and difficult as the process is, it is the best (and in some things maybe even the only) way to bring growth. I am discovering more everyday of what I am truly capable of. I am being forced to really look at myself and my actions and to make adjustments in my attitude and way of thinking. I have been one to not just allow, but almost demand others give me directions on what and how to conduct myself in just about everything. It was the easy way out for me; the coward's way. I didn't want to have to take responsibility for anything, just in case it didn't turn out well. If I was just following "orders" and things didn't work out the way they were expected to, it wasn't really my fault. Right?

2 Timothy 1:7 says, "For the spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline."

I have claimed this to be my life verse for several years now. But the truth is, I haven't really lived by it. I memorized it. I realized I needed to remind myself of this verse and learn to live by it, but I never really have. It was too easy to take the coward's way, to be timid. With everything that has been happening, with having two young children to care for, while Michael has been deployed this time, I have had no choice but to finally begin to live as this verse instructs. I am a daughter of God, therefore I have a powerful, loving, disciplined spirit. I have begun to see the fruit of this spirit finally.

So while I miss my husband terribly and look forward to his return, I am thankful for this time of growth. It is painful. It is uncomfortable. At times it is downright terrifying. But it is also freeing. It is exhilarating. It is even, dare I say, joyful. Finally, after all these years, I am beginning to feel like a woman instead of just a girl. I am beginning to come out of my shell. I am stepping outside of my self imposed box. I am meeting new people. I am asking for help instead of silently suffering alone. I am truly growing. My prayer is that the growth will continue, not only for the duration of this deployment, but for the rest of my life. And I truly believe it will.

Becoming a Nudist Family

OK, so we're not really going to become nudists, but I was seriously tempted after the day we had today. All three of us (Rebecca, Haley and myself) are sick; have been for a few days now. Poor Rebecca has it the worst including a horrible cough. She gets into these coughing fits that cause her to throw up anything she's ingested recently. Add that to Haley, who spits up regularly even when she's perfectly healthy, and I have been changing someone (or everyone) all day long. That gets kind of old after a while, especially when you already have laundry that needs to be caught up on and you are continuing to watch the dirty laundry pile grow.

Of course, my biggest concern is the health of my girls. I hate seeing them sick. As I said before, Rebecca has it the worst. She has had a low grade fever for several days now, loss of appetite, cough, congestion...poor baby is so miserable. She has pockets of time when it doesn't seem to bother her too much and she's able to play for a bit, but then it hits her again and she just wants to cuddle. She even asked me if we could lay in bed and watch tv this afternoon (this coming from the kid that fights me tooth and nail and is never tired when I announce it's bedtime). Haley has the cough and congestion too but not nearly as bad. I'm still worried about her though because she is so young (and because I'm a mom and that's what us moms do best, worry about our kids).

So that is our excitement recently. It's been another challenge for me to figure out with juggling multiple kids but we are making it work. We've had lots of cuddles with all three of us on the couch, in the bed, or in the recliner (my least favorite place with three of us, or four when the dog decides he wants to join the fun as well).

Oh yes, and Haley has discovered a new sound. Unfortunately it's not a cute sound like the rasberries she discovered previously. No, this time it is a high pitched screeching noise. The discovery coincided with us all getting sick and at first I thought it was a new cry because she was in pain. Then I realized she was smiling as she made the noise. So apparently we get to enjoy this new discovery for a while until another sound is discovered to replace it. *sigh* Well, at least the one making the noise is cute, even if the noise itself is not.